Tiny Moments
by bbgirl17555
Summary: A Jolie, John and Natalie Drabble Series, it's the small moments that change your life..... Finished 6.14.05 with two: The Ninth: Going and The Last: Gone.
1. The First: Panic

**Tiny Moments**

This is a Jolie drabble series, I love to drabble, not sure how often I will add another one. I guess whenever the muse strikes. Oh for those who don't know a drabble is a 100 word fanfic (100 words Exactly). I would love to hear what you guys think, or suggestions for moments to drabble about.

Becca

**The First: Panic**- (6/2/05)

Panic. It was the one thing John had been trained not to do. Keep calm, keep a level head, don't barge into a situation without thinking. John remembered these rules as he knelt down besides Rex. John kept his voice low, he didn't scream, he just checked for injuries. He tried to downplay the worry in his gut. Keep focused.

But then Balsom said her name.

Natalie.

And there it was. Because it was her, his Natalie... Because if something happened to her then he wouldn't have a reason to wake up in the morning.

And there it was- panic.


	2. The Second: Scars

Second in the drabble series. Set during the 6-3-05 (Natalie almost gets shoot with a crossbow) episode.

**The Second: Scars **(6-3-05)

John led Natalie to his car, shutting her door as she slid inside. Natalie shivered once, keeping her arms wrapped tightly, cocooning herself from the world.

John started the car, but stopped, staring at her. "Natalie..."

"Don't." She pleaded. It was too much, too close.

"You're still bleeding." John gestured to her forehead as he pulled out a handkerchief carefully dabbing away the blood, sparks flying. "Better get that checked out."

"I'm fine."

"Still, wanna take care of that or it will scar."

Natalie looked at him, his wounds of losing Caitlin reopening. Her voice was soft. "Then we'll match."


	3. The Third: Push

**The Third: Push** (Set 6/6/05)

She lingers in the doorway, ignoring Evangeline's words. "Night." She says.

He thinks about stopping her, or having an officer follow her home. Keep her safe. Lock her up if need be.

But he doesn't. He can't. If he does anything she will know.

For now the words can be erased, a moment of panic. But make a move and she will know.

And nothing has changed. They burn. They would consume each other.

Better to lie. Better to be silent.

He stands there, quiet, helpless.

He can't help her now.

Push.

Push her away.

And maybe she won't know.


	4. The Fourth: Hope

_A\N:_I had to write something to help me understand that damn smile on Natalie's face at the end. Because otherwise I would have to want to hit her till she bled- Natalie happy at John's pain? Never!

**The Fourth: Hope **(set 6.9.05)

They warn her.

Michael, Rex- they warn her.

Don't get your hopes up. He will break your heart.

But Natalie can't help it.

And she knows what is at stake. She knows the risks.

She still fingers her quarter, her chance at the fairytale. He said love.

And that's enough.

She hopes.

They warn her not to but she crosses her fingers.

Roxy always said she was unlucky but maybe she was wrong... maybe...

She hopes.

Say a prayer and pull the lever.

Evangeline leaves in tears and she smiles.

She hopes.

Maybe, finally, it will come up cherries.

Maybe...


	5. The Fifth: Offer

Set 6.10.05 (John invites Natalie to his room)

**Fifth: Offer**

"What you're able to give me, it's -- it's not enough." Evangeline's words echoed in John's head.

Maybe she was right.

Michael thought it was Natalie.

Maybe he was right too.

It didn't matter.

Didn't matter what he wanted.

Didn't matter if he loved her.

What could he offer her?

Lies and secrets.

A life full of pain.

And one day Natalie would find out.

One day any bliss he could carve out would come crashing around him, his hallow castle.

Better to break her heart.

What could he offer her?

Better to break her heart.

Before she broke his.


	6. The Sixth: Belong

Set 6.10.05 (John invites Natalie to his room)

_A\N:_ Two for the same day, because well Natalie deserved one too.

**Sixth: Belong**

She went to Roxy.

Because she knew.

She was a Balsom.

Even if she wasn't really.

A little loud, a little brass.

She wasn't a Buchanan.

She wasn't quiet and subdued

She was all color and noise.

"So, what are you doing here?"

Stupid question.

"I live here, remember?"

And she could picture them.

"Right."

Down on the pier, sharing boardwalk fries.

"Actually, you got a minute so we can talk?"

And he wouldn't care that she ate them with mustard.

"Sure."

And she would fit.

She would belong.

"Could we do this in my room?"

She would be his.


	7. The Seventh: Tears

Set during the 6.13.05 Episode (John tells Natalie he doesn't love her)

**Tiny Moments- Seventh: Tears**

Roxy used to hit you when you cried.

Big purple welts that showed your weakness.

Toughen you up.

Train you.

Keep it on the inside, little girl.

And then they came.

They took your wall away.

Called it love.

And now you stand before him raw and exposed.

Keep your back to him. Don't let him see.

You're weak.

And you can't remember the tricks you used to stop them.

There is that quiver in your chin.

They will fall.

He will see.

And part of you wishes Roxy still hit you when you cry.

Bruises to hide your pain.


	8. The Eighth: Fire

Set during the 6.13.05 Episode (John tells Natalie he doesn't love her)

**Tiny Moments- Eighth: Fire**

The light bounces off her hair and all he can think of is a dancing flame.

Consuming, burning.

Drawing him closer.

He reaches out a hand.

How can he not?

A moth to her flame.

And she turns.

And he knows.

In a moment it will be over.

And she will be gone from his life.

Still present but under glass.

There is not enough air there.

Flicker and fade from her light.

There will be someone else for her

She's crying.

And he clings to her.

Savoring the last bit of light.

Flicker.

And they burn.

Consuming each other.


	9. The Ninth: Going

**The Ninth- Going** (set 6.14.05)

"Just go."

If she doesn't he might not be strong enough.

A tilt of her head, a challenge.

"Fine."

And it sounds like a threat.

Maybe it is.

She is.

Threatening, dangerous.

And her phone rings.

The world pushes in.

It's the tone he hears.

Questioning, unsure.

"Hello?"

It's not familiar, not playful.

Not 'hey you' with a smile saturated voice.

Nothing to worry about.

Not a threat.

Then he catches her gaze.

Freshly shattered glass.

And she will bleed.

He wants to carry her.

Wants to hold her.

Put the broken girl back together.

But he can't.

He lied.


	10. The Last: Gone

**The Last: Gone **(set 6.14.05)

"Just go."

And she hates to talk like this.

Hates to act like this, somethings wrong she can't fix.

So she forces the act, turn her inside out. "Fine."

And Todd's calling.

Strange.

And she remembers how he almost got her heart cut out.

Her pain is deafening. Thundering loud in her ears.

And John's there.

But she won't tell him.

And she won't cry.

She will go.

It's safer gone.

Her uncle didn't hurt her.

Todd just helped Mitch.

John took the scalp to her.

"I don't love you."

And Natalie wonders why she still hurts without a heart.

_A\N:_ I want to say how much I enjoyed doing this drabble series and to thank everyone for their encouragement. This series spanned from John finding Rex in the woods and the near hit on Natalie through Viki's heart attack and while not a long time it felt very emotionally draining. Anyway I hope you enjoyed them a fraction of the enjoyment I got out of writing them. You guys are the best.

Becca


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